THE TALES OF THE BEGGAR, THE WAITRESS, THE SEA WITCH, THE YAYA AND THE BEST FASHION BILLBOARDS OF SUMMER 2011

For all you know, I am not a judge, and most definitely, I am not an expert. Let's just say I am a keen observer, and I like seeing beautiful things.

Across EDSA - from Pasay to Magallanes to Buendia to Guadalupe to Ortigas to Cubao to QC to Monumento and back - we have seen a bombardment of fashion billboard ads from retail companies that are all out to gain and snatch attention, inspire and ignite our imagination.

From the trendiest apparel to the fiercest shoes to the latest bags to the most exciting accessories and so on, brands are battling out to create the most inviting visuals to promote their products. To make the story short, they need to make sales.

If we are to head to the malls and check the brands for their latest summer collection, would we stash the cash when we see Enchong Dee for Bench looking like a crippled beggar asking for help in an ad campaign that says 'Return to Temptation'?

Enchong Dee must be in real pain. There's nothing "tempting" in this picture at all!

According to a friend, kulang na lang ng lata, pwede na siya mamalimos! For a goodlooking actor such as Enchong and for a giant brand like Bench, this is injustice. Whoever did this must be crucified (too late though for Holy Week)! Even Enchong's other picture is a big fashion crime:

Enchong deserves more than this "pambahay lang" styling.

On the other hand, you may agree or disagree with me, but Kris Aquino should admit she could not model a pair of good shoes. In this billboard ad by Figlia, I almost thought she was a waitress. Should we place our orders now?

I don't hate Kris, but I hate the fact she agreed to pose like this. Sayang ang dress! And oh... the shoe - it seems like a size 12!

Oh my, Vanessa Matsunaga, what have they done to you lately?! Are they pegging you as a drag sea queen? With all the pearls and the sparkling gems, I did not recognize that this is a Technomarine ad (poor watch, couldn't see it)! Ariel, the Little Mermaid, wouldn't be so happy to see this under the sea!

Isn't this almost like an ill version of one of ANTM Cycle 15's photo shoots?

For Onesimus, I ask who's that girl in the background? They should have cropped yaya out of the picture. Fail tuloy!

Ate looks like a scary stalker from behind. The groom's face says it all.

Those being said, I commend brands that stepped their way with stylish effort to come up with tastefully-done pictorials that are worth the adulation - and our money, of course! We may have varied opinions, but the following ad campaigns have me in the mood for shopping:

PENSHOPPE

Solenn Heusaff's steamy swimsuit ad is a wow head-turner! Penshoppe has never gone this bold before. Vivid visual, scorching bikini, very sexy glam, ultimately lifestyle and aspirational - had me thinking of Gucci!

PLAINS & PRINTS

Love the idea of using local top models such as Ria Bolivar - it's about time! The prints, the colors and the collage are all but pretty!

BENCH

After hitting on Enchong Dee's pictures, Bench finally gets the meaning of temptation right with this sensual photo of Jake Cuenca and Lovi Poe.

BELO BODYTITE

Seeing hot momma Ruffa Gutierrez looking fierce and gorgeous in this new ad, I wanna go to Belo immediately!

BAYO

Great production design, soft-lit photography, very serene - KC Concepcion is the chic country girl for Bayo this summer.

SHAPES

The Gonzaga sisters get leggy and floral for this Shapes pictorial.

FOLDED&HUNG FRAGRANCES

Just her face - Anne Curtis gets hippie-pretty for this new scent by F&H.

CINDERELLA

Rhian Ramos captivates as the new face of Cinderella.

OXYGEN

The brand is going global in terms of look and merchandise. Love the Terry Richardson feel in each photo!

FREEWAY

Freeway goes wet and sexy - the right elements for a sultry summer.

 NOTE: These photos are not mine. Pure opinions only - nothing personal.